Can you have "feelings" for someone you pay to have sex with?

Is he stirring or what?

Reflecting on the answer to this question, most punters or workers will answer along the lines of "Oh it's a commercial transaction. There are no feelings involved." or "That would be unprofessional.". Prior to writing this post, I was certain that this would be my response also.

This is understandable but perhaps illustrative of a common problem in this industry of dismissing the importance of emotional connections and how appropriate, positive emotive responses arising out of what are nonetheless commercially-oriented relationships can serve to establish the positive contributions that this industry can make.

Let's get one thing out of the way: In my opinion one kind of feeling (viz punter to worker) which is not healthy and not to be encouraged is what I will call FTGI (Feelings That Just Isn't A Good Idea). In defining FTGI, I adopt (and obviously expand upon) the modern definition of sexual harassment: Sexual/attraction-oriented feelings allied with expectations and advances aimed towards establishing an ongoing relationship (projected towards the recipient) beyond what the punter and provider had mutually agreed should occur within the confines of a booking.

But are there/can there be "feelings" for a worker by the client that can be positive and virtuous?

I would say "yes". Here I recall a recent thread on an adult industry discussion forum in NZ where various providers detailed some of the nicest things that clients had done for them. Some of the observations are genuinely touching and very human, including a client who regularly (but apparently unintrusively) inquired as to a provider's well-being, along with her child and various observations of apparently genuine friendships that developed between providers and clients.

Can these things truly happen without the clients having virtuous and decent "feelings" (here I am talking about things like honest admiration, respect for someone who might have shown them a new perspective, compassion, and the like) for the providers concerned? I think not.

More importantly, I think it's pointless (and even silly) to reflexively dismiss such feelings.

The challenge

Human experience tells us that as one grows to admire, respect or treasure one's interaction with another human being, warm and fuzzy feelings can develop. This potent mix when allied with sexual satisfaction or the perceived intimacy/closeness between two people (even in commercial sex) may well in the minds of many start to mess up the best intentions of a worker and client's desire to keep the virtuous "feelings" balanced. I'll try and address some of these issues in further postings from my own experience.