Here's how it will work. Although I am the person typing the information on to this blog, many of the words are verbatim words by Erin. Sometimes certain words are rewritten somewhat for the sake of clarity and to avoid potential legal issues. Everything posted on here is, however, approved by her. These posts aren't intended to be full on articles of thought or anything like that -- they will just allow Erin to express her views of her experiences in the industry and on whatever issues that she cares to express views on.
Who am I and why did I get into the industry?
"I am Erin, a NZ European woman in her early 30s. As of about 13 months ago, I stopped working in the industry (after graduating from university) after doing about 14 months as an escort, predominantly working as a private but I started out in a couple of well-known brothels.
Got into the industry for pretty much the same reasons as many others. Wasn't desperate for cash or literally had to fuck and suck strangers just to keep a roof over my head but I had started studying towards a degree in a professional field in my late 20s as a mature student with a then baby. I had managed to hold down a very good career despite my then lack of qualifications but with studies on top of my job at a fairly un-progressive mid-tier business, there was zero work-life balance.
Feeling like I was missing out on watching [baby] grow, I began to explore the option of another career or at least a way to earn more money to support my attempts at working less hours. I started first at one brothel, earned quite well but didn't make oodles and found the management difficult. Moved onto another brothel and started to really make better money but basically got scared out of there after seeing the husband of a good friend at the bar there about to go off to a room with a girl.
Eventually I mustered up the courage to go private and initially shared an apartment with a couple of other girls. Started by using up a huge amount of accumulated leave from real work and worked full time for a few weeks. After getting quite good results I made my mind up that I would quit my job and concentrate on hooking and my studies."
Some myths surrounding rape and its aftermath
"[Curiosity] has already noted that I was raped once whilst escorting. The true count is twice, along with suffering other instances of things that no person should have to, including stalkings.
The first rape was perpetrated by a guy who seemed to have had too much to drink at the bar of the brothel -- I wasn't that keen on taking him on but was told by the receptionist that he was a regular and "safe". [The actual fucking with him started out okay enough] but his problem was that he had no understanding of how much it hurts to do a guy that was well endowed girth and length-wise looking to emulate what happens in porn with the ceaseless pounding. Things really started to hurt like hell after 5 minutes of him pounding from behind and I asked him to stop.
He muttered something like 'But I paid!' and kept going despite my [firm requests to stop]. I even managed to tell him "Hey this is rape!", which seemed to have been a prompt to him to go even harder (by now I was in so much physical pain that I had tears spontaneously coming out of my eyes) and he also pressed down hard on my neck with the result that I was basically being smothered into the pillow.
At that point I physically surrendered. For any idiot who wishes to attribute any blame or aspersions on my self-respect for stopping any kind of protest or resistance, my reason for doing so was simple. I felt that the condom was still on and frankly I was just hoping that he will shoot soon and my pain would be over, as opposed to risking further physical confrontations plus injury. Mercifully he shot soon after.
Once he was done, he became surprisingly normal and actually tried to "explain" that he just wanted to come and didn't think I was serious about the pain. 'Look at my eyes, idiot, and see if my fucking tears were real!" I screamed back and he hurriedly changed and got out of the room. I felt like I at least got some power back. Explained to the receptionist what that guy did and my understanding was that he was never allowed back at the brothel. She was stunned since she really appeared to know him as a reliable client and this receptionist was one of the few people I met at a brothel that seemed to have a real concern for other humans.
The second rape was worse -- far worse -- the guy was a recommended client by a friend who also escorted. He had obviously never misbehaved towards her and in my first two meetings he was gentlemanly and fine. He was an immigrant, of small statute but was very fit. In truth, given how gentlemanly he was and how erudite he seemed I will admit to being a bit smitten with him once.
Basically when this guy raped me, he had arrived at our 3rd meeting (at a provincial town which I travelled to semi-regularly both to work and visit friends) and after getting inside we started a bit of pashing, stripping and playing. Without warning he slipped inside me without rubber. I screamed and really screamed, demanded that he stop. He did and then proceeded to push me down on the floor on my belly, straddled me and put me into a kind of choke hold. Survivors often talk about thinking about their kids in that situation and that's what I did. This time there was no doubt -- the first time if I had really resisted I might have gotten away but this guy really got me.
Then the guy stopped without "finishing" and threw some cash at my face and called me a whore. He then left.
A myth to dispel is the idea that being raped always causes the victim to suffer massive after-effects. I obviously had to get myself tested and made a police report after the second rape and was lucky to be cleared medically later. But the police investigation went nowhere for months and eventually I just dropped it myself. Couldn't afford taking all the time away from my girl, my study, and the need to make a living to just re-tell the story over and over.
I have mostly recovered. But there's a burning anger at both guys and society about this. [Can't understand why we have a world where my preference and wishes over my body is not immediately respected] and can't understand why the second guy would suddenly do what he did. Instead of the long jail sentences that some people want, what would make lots of my anger go away is if I can make these guys listen to me and what I went through and somehow have them genuinely understand and apologise. The second guy will have to get on his knees without food for a few days before I will even think about acknowledging him. Like any of this will happen.
In the second case in particular, I took all the standard precautions and then some yet still got hit. So don't anyone tell me that I am dumb or how bad things only happen to fools."
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Comments are welcome and encouraged. I however reserve the right to delete any abusive and ignorant comments. In addition, if you have any rant and raves to make against what is a legal industry in my country, please take your comments elsewhere.
Otherwise, have fun.