Exposing some painful truths regarding escorts' attitudes towards clients
"I've personally endured or heard about some horrific and unacceptable things done to escorts by clients. But a fair summary of my experiences can not be had without noting some of the shocking attitudes towards clients on the part of the girls.
As a rough assertion, I think fewer than half of the participants on both sides of the fence that I have met have a rounded, sensible attitude towards sex and the industry as a whole. A lack of this can cause behaviour that range from silly (e.g. terrible sexual techniques by guys like putting all their weight on a smaller girl in missionary in the name of passion), hopelessly "romantic"/borderline harassment (guys hitting on girls to be "something more" when it's obviously unwelcomed, to providing rip-off services by girls, and lots more. But this time I will focus on the working girls' side of the fence.
Guys, I am sorry to say this but lots of working girls hate men and sometimes the hate is as strong as some of the irrational misogyny by the very bad clients. And it is just as wrong. I think I was worth my rates and evidently enough guys also thought the same. It also takes two to tango. But I don't sit there and pretend that an hour ($200 or thereabouts) with an average escort is not a decent investment for most guys because it is.
In that light, it sickens me to hear (especially in the brothels) how some girls brag about deliberately rushing guys with poor control into coming quickly, knowing that they can't go again so they can get them out of the room faster. And whilst I believe every girl is and must be free to draw up their own boundaries, the sometimes laughably long list of "don't dos" by working girls for their clients in the name of "preserving boundaries", "hygiene" ("don't kiss - it's dirty" - but it didn't stop you kissing that drunk guy with missing teeth when we went clubbing!) or whatever sometimes painfully expose the obvious underlying truth: some of these people simply judge punters as a class to be somehow "dirty", awful or whatever. Look, if you're gonna think that way and fuck them for $$$, you're just as filthy. So how about you exercise some genuine discretion and judge and treat people based on their actual merit?
We weren't (and shouldn't be) okay with people assuming that we all went into this game to buy drugs, because we were all raped as children, or that we were devils that want to break up others' marriage. Then why were some of us okay with hating punters as a class of people collectively on flimsy allegations?"
Too much bullshit both ways have resulted in fundamental breakdowns of needed basic trust and human assumptions
"Originally meeting [Curiosity] again was a nightmare. But now that we've established to each other's satisfaction that we'll keep our pasts and encounters secret, I have had the chance to reflect a bit over our encounters. Have got to say that he really was one of the very, very good clients - [ed: okay blushing and cutting out some of the praises haha]. But this isn't why I want to talk about him.
At that time, to all intents and purposes he struck me as being intelligent and perceptive. Yet he had this habit of asking too much of whether he was doing things right or making me comfortable. We had the chance to talk about this over the last day or two and frankly our joint conclusion is that at that time he really had no trust that I seriously meant the truth when I said that he was doing more than fine and sometimes gave off enough physical cues to prove so.
This kind of thing was very common across good, sensitive clients. And this was terrible and upsetting for me: it felt like an - admittedly unintended - attack on my integrity and more. But reflecting more broadly on everything now, the amount of fakery and all round contempt visited on the punters by many girls couldn't have helped punters to trust, even bearing in mind the nature of the transaction
Hey, everybody knows that a staff member in a clothing boutique wants you to buy something from them and will say some nice things about how you look in their stuff. But most people that visit a decent boutique with decent staff will go on faith and believe that the staff member means well and is at least somewhat genuine when they say A looks better on me than B. Would a music player repeatedly question her music teacher (even a new one) whether she really means it when she says the player has played well?"
I guess everyone has times when they would rather not deal with the public but have to because it is their job. Although of course serving someone across a desk is rather different to rubbing pink bits, even if there is a thin layer of rubber between them. I personally try to find something sexy about everyone who pays to have sex with me, even if it's their fine taste in choosing me ;) When I start feeling so hateful about men, I will be sure and take a holiday. Or perhaps tour to another town (like Auckland - where i have heard horror stories of rough clients and general pissing around, like last minute cancellations etc) so that I can come home and be reminded of how lovely the gents in Christchurch are. To hate men so much and want to rush them or get them the fuck out of there must surely indicate a bad case of job burn out, (and this would probably come more quickly if one was in Auckland - to continue with my Auckland-bashing comment) and it is no different from the Dominos pizza staff who spat in the pizzas they were making - an extreme hatred for their jobs, their bosses, maybe just their lives. A permanent break or a holiday is needed so that a fresh look can be taken at the joys of prostitution, and I honestly believe there are many, beyond the money that is.
ReplyDeleteHi Amber, thank you so much for your comment. I think the seductiveness of the sums involved frequently push people to carry on or take one more "job" when it would be better for all involved to take a break.
DeleteIn terms of Auckland clientele, being an Aucklander and having spoken with a few WLs, you certainly get your share of timewasters. I (not saying this doesn't occur) haven't heard too many stories of people being rough with providers, however.
Interesting to note you referencing the joys of this line of work aside from money. I'd be interested to know what you consider the top 3 joys to be?